Reaching For You

I reach across the distant land,
The one between you and  I.
The one that you have placed there,
That's not visible to the human eye.
I think of how we use to be,
To the time when you confided in me.
Now as the wind blows the tumble weed,
There is no one here but me.

I search the mountains looking for you,
But I chase only empty footprints,
Empty shells in the frigid snow,
The places you have already been.
I follow you in vain, I know,
 But it's you I think of in the end.

YOU! Yes you, the reader!

Hi all! 

I was inspired by a story I heard about a musician on the radio the other week. Apparently he had his listeners write letters about things that have happened in their lives. He then rented a cabin in Tennessee and read those letter. While in the cabin, for however long it was, he wrote music that told the stories of some of the things that had happened in other peoples lives. Now, clearly I will not be renting a cabin off in the country, but I would like to write poetry about some of the things that other people deal with or have gone through in life. Regardless of if you follow my blog, check in every now and then, or just happened upon it, I want to know your story. If you've been through hardships or  have met the love of your life, I want to hear stories from you, both the good and bad, and hopefully I will be able to put it in poetic form. Obviously it would be crazy to write your experiences in a comment that everyone can see, so I have set up an email account for the sole purpose of this endeavor of mine, poetry.nyx@gmail.com. I won't actually respond to these emails, so do not be offended if you don't hear from me, just keep your eye out for the entires to follow. So pass the word on, and tell your friends, because I want to be able to convey stories that either haven't been told, or that need to be told more than they already have, and no worries I do not plan on using names with these.

Thanks!

Spirit and Soul

The air is thinning,
I'm suffocating,
Lungs collapsing,
Throat closing,
Gasping for just a few more breaths.
Too much sound,
Its drowning me out,
Can't hear my thoughts,
My beliefs, myself.
My ears are bleeding from the inside out.
Vision is blurring,
My future is black,
Like the darkness that consumes.
Can't see the light,
Can't see the day,
Can't see my reflection
Can't see my dreams.
Surrounded  by the shadows of my thoughts,
Trying to consume me whole,
Spirit and Soul.

Brother

My heart, it cries out,

In agonizing pain,

As it lay faintly beating, 

On the cold dissecting table.

Prodded and Poked,

It knows nothing but pain and scars,

But, though it is my heart that screams for help,

It is my soul that begs for more.

My soul, it lives off of the pain,

Brought by others,

It cries out for more,

Just so it knows what it is like to feel,

Anything,

To live.

But this, 

This is not really living.

This is the border between life and death.

It is death who beckons me,

With his promises of solitude,
An escape from this opaque nightmare.
While life, she glares and she laughs.
With no end of the pain in sight,
I run toward death,
Oh to be embraced in his arms,
But all effort is futile,
For life has bound my heart with a single thread,
Though small and young,
This thread binds my soul to this earth,
If only for eighteen years.

My Silent Wish

I don't want to lie to you,
I want to tell you everything,
I want to reveal all my pain,
I want to say that everything is not okay,
I want to cry instead of laugh,
I want you to be there when everything is crashing down,
I want you to hold me and tell me its alright,
But I cant.
I cant do any of that,
And you will never be there when my world is crushing me,
When I'm suffocating slowly,
Because I know that if I reveal the truth,
I might lose you.

So I keep pretending and laughing,
And for a while,
Everything is fine,

Until the sun goes down and I'm left in the frigid night,
Alone with my tears and sorrow,

Telling myself I deserve this,
That I deserve to be alone,
That its not fair to you,
That I shouldn't burden you too.
That the last thing you need is me.
Even though I know we cant be,
I still feel the same,
So I still have shame.
And out of it I stay quiet,
Hoping one day I wont need to tell you,
That you just look at me and see,
That all I want is to be held.
That all I want is you.

The Secret Vow

 He left her there, standing alone on the sidewalk, tears flooding her eyes. She wasn't sure what hurt most at that moment, watching him walk away from her or realizing that the one man she cared most for thought nothing of her. She slowly walked back to her home with her head hung low,tears streaming from her burning eyes onto the frigid sidewalk, her sobs falling silent on the eerily chilled summer air. The wind blew hard against her side, making her as numb physically  as she was emotionally. He had never cared, she was nothing to him, he didn't even think twice, he just walked away from her and didn't look back, it was like she was never there in the first place. She had fooled herself into thinking that she had somehow mattered to him. But now, she could see clearly, in the long mirror that hung on a wall in her half lit room. She could see the pitiful crying girl that she really was, weak. At that moment, in the darkness of her empty room with the wind thrashing against the window panes, she made a vow to herself, "I will never care again"...

The Lost Boy

It's hard to be happy in a world thats not made for him,
Where there is no place for him,
When he doesn't even know who he really is.
Afraid of the truth,
Because the lies are less painful.
He plays and pretends that everything is alright,
When in reality he cries every night.
He is tired of fitting in,
He just wants to be real,
Even if he loses every friend,
At least he will be the happiest he has ever been.